"Love doesn't mean a state of perfect caring. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now- and to go on caring through joyful times and through times that may bring us pain" -Fred Rogers
"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."-Mother Teresa
"Love is not affectionate feeling but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained" -C.S. Lewis
"[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." -1 Corinthians 13:8
Recently, Glenn and I experienced a setback that in my perfectionist brain feels a lot like failure. My lexicon cannot keep up with the emotions of it. Generally, I pride myself on my eloquence. When given paper, utensils, and time, I compose meaning from my chaos; I create lyrics from the dissonance. Words feel somewhat powerless in the current context, but I concede that my perspective is finite, and seasons are transitory things.
Every year, I write about each student in my Room 134 Family. Generally, I write for them as a reassurance of the beautiful unquantifiable attributes that outweigh the standardized assessments that are administered each spring. I share my prose prior to testing as an affirmation of my love.
I am writing sooner this year, and my intention is more selfish. I am writing because failure is my greatest fear, and anxiety is antithetical to love. If I dwell in love, I believe it will cast out fear and assuage the lies that disguise themselves as terrible truths.
I am writing because love is more powerful than my fear. I may fail, but love does not. I am writing because love does what I cannot. Love speaks, and all of creation obeys. I have been reminded of love's persistence this week. I have been humbled by love's resilience, and I am choosing to speak love into the disparagement of my soul-- to be the kind of person that I teach my students to emulate... to hope and to love and to get back up when dealt a seemingly unfair hand.
Here are my 23 reasons to get back up again. Here are my 23 reasons to push through hard feelings and to keep loving.
Here are my 23 belated valentines:
1) I love you because you are dedicated. You seek assurance even though it is never really needed. I love you because you are thoughtful. You remember the details and bring them into conversations. I love you because you are going to be the most amazing big sister. You protect your peers. You are the quiet, humble benefactor of their success. You create peace and strive for excellence without ever seeking the credit for all that you do for others.
2) I love you because you curl up in a ball under the standing table with a book each morning. I look back and see the sweetest little human grinning sheepishly at me, book in hand. I love you because you are always positive. You never complain, and you always give your best. You quietly, humbly, consistently pursue excellence. You listen before you speak. You are attentive, and you are kind.
3) I love you because you are spirited, quick-witted, and bold. You know who you are, and you are unafraid. You demand at least 5 hugs each day, and it makes me feel like the kind of teacher I aspire to become-- someone worthy of that much admiration. I love you because you have brilliant ideas, and you are willing to defend your beliefs. You push others to be their best, and your creativity inspires your peers to expand their understanding of what is possible.
4) I love you because you make me laugh with your non sequiturs. I love you because of your ridiculous love for 'kitties.' You construct fantastic Sesame Street fiction. I love you because you are an extraordinary writer. You overcome and quietly persevere. You focus on your peers, and you love them well. I love you because you remind me to look outward. Your silent courage humbles and inspires me.
5) I love you because your trust is earned. I love you because even on the difficult days, I know that you trust me, and it is more meaningful than you will ever know. I love you because you seek opportunities to spend time in our classroom and in our school. I love your determination and your sense of solidarity with others, especially when it's with me. I love the stories that you possess. I look forward to your narratives from the tales of an eventful bus ride to school to our fictitious and mischievous math student, Charles.
6) I love you because your joy is a constant. You are one of the rare humans who radiates joy from a deep internal place that cannot be shaken. I love your laughter and the way you delight in every circumstance. I love the way that joy will consume you at times-- with a picture prompt or a funny story. I love you because you share my affection for elephants. You are thoughtful, kind, and positive. You compose elegant prose, and I wish we could all reside in the beauty of your creative world.
7) I love you because you also possess a deep-seated unshakeable joy like a song. You are constantly singing or dancing to silent music, and I believe that it is just the melody of your spirit- lighthearted and lovely. I love you because you make loving others look so easy. Your love is genuine and generous. I often wonder how your body holds the enormity of your heart. You are emotionally attentive to everyone, even me. Yet, your spirit remains light. Our Room 134 Family is a much more joyful and compassionate place because of your presence.
8) I love you because you are tremendously brave. You entered a new classroom in the middle of the school year without knowing the language. Yet your eyes dance as you read bilingual books with new friends. As the soles of your shoes split in Virginia's unrelenting rain, you laugh with each squishy step. Our world needed you. You are a reminder that love, bravery, hope, and childhood are gifts that are blind to the barriers constructed by our fears. You are unafraid and grateful in the midst of change.
9) I love you because you are the kind of friend that everyone in our classroom seeks. You are conscientious, kind, and perceptive. Your writing from the perspective of a door amazed me. You navigated the seasons of life with elegance, grace, and wisdom. You possess attributes that many adults lack- the ability to see circumstances from multiple perspectives and the humility to compromise. When you smile, your joy is merited, and it is infectious. You absorb and process each experience with depth and clarity. Your peers appreciate your gentle honesty and your ability to negotiate unselfishly. You are a trusted friend and a coveted team member.
10) I love you because you are insatiably curious. You participate eagerly in class, especially during math! I love that you quickly became a friend to every member of our Room 134 Family this year. You are warm, accepting, and kind. You treat everyone you meet with respect, and I have been approached on multiple occasions by adults commenting on your kindness. Your laughter is infectious, and our Room 134 family is a more inviting place because you are a part of it.
11) I love you because you are lighthearted, creative, and thoughtful. You are kind in the way you seek to help and uplift, even when you are feeling down. You give your kindness endlessly and effortlessly. Your peers know that they do not have to earn your kindness, positivity, and grace because those qualities exude naturally from you. I love you because you are caring. You wrote me a picture book about elephants that I will treasure always. It remains in a box on my dresser, and on difficult days, I read your sweet tale. You are an author of grace, joy, and kindness in our Room 134 family, and I love being your teacher.
12) I love you because you are the most dedicated student I have ever met. You push yourself, and you constantly seek opportunities to improve and to learn. Your peers know that your work ethic is unparalleled. They know that you are earnest, kind, and capable, yet you do not see these attributes in yourself. You rarely receive the praise you deserve because it is easy to miss all of the effort when our world seeks outcomes. I know you will be tremendously successful because of the way you never settle. You overcome, and don't let setbacks discourage your heart. Your willingness to keep pushing yourself inspires me, especially in this season. I am grateful for who you are. It is a privilege to be your teacher and to receive your love.
13) I love you because you are creative, joyful, and willing to take risks. On the second day of school when I read your Reading Inventory, I knew that being your teacher was going to be such an amazing privilege. To me, you will always be "in the cave alongside Harry, battling Voldemort." Your creative input elevates our classroom. You see things as they could be, and you find realistic ways to bridge the gap between what is and what is possible. Your peers look to you as a leader and as a beloved friend because you embrace joy and you see beyond what is immediately apparent.
14) I love you because you are logical, ethical, genuinely funny, and amazingly flexible! You treat your peers with kindness and grace. You seek to understand before you seek to be understood. Your contributions are so valuable because they are never selfishly motivated. You are perceptive and honest, and your humility inspires and challenges me. You never complain, grumble, or seek accolades for your positive choices. I love you because you make others feel known, respected, and valued in our classroom.
15) I love you because you quietly persevere. You never seek the spotlight, even when it is deserved. I love you because you are dedicated and fiercely competitive. When you put your mind to an endeavor, it consumes you. You fear the effort will result in failure which has kept you from trying at times, but I am familiar with the fear of investing too much in defeat. I love you because you are capable, even when you don't see it or feel it.
16) I love you because you delight in the small things. I love you because you are dedicated. You work tremendously hard, and you never give up. I love you because your gratitude is only paralleled by your genuine kindness. You encourage your peers, and you delight in their successes as much as your own. Your joy overflows and invades everyone in our classroom. I love you because you see the beauty in everyone. You make kindness look effortless.
17) I love you because you are dependable and detailed. You hold yourself to high standards. You strive for excellence, and you push others to do the same. Without being asked, you see what is needed, and you fill the gaps. You have become an asset to me and to so many other teachers because you seek opportunities to assist. You do not pursue accolades. In fact, so many of your acts of service go unnoticed, but the entire dynamic shifts when you are absent. I love you because you are tireless in your kindness, in your work ethic, and in your compassion.
18) I love you because you are a loyal friend. You are silly and good-natured, and you are eager to please. You receive evident joy from helping others, and you defend what you believe is right. I love you because you have pushed yourself this year, and you have shown tremendous growth. I am tremendously proud of your motivation and desire for excellence. You are capable and bright, and I love having you in class.
19) I love you because you quietly compose beauty. Your artwork is the invitation into your lovely mind. You are breathtakingly humble and brilliantly creative. You are eloquent in your words and in your vision. In the entropy and noise of our world, you are constructing the stunning reprieve. Your words and pictures decorate my whiteboard and refrigerator. Your letters speak that beauty into my spirit. I love you because you find beauty in the ordinary, and you draw it out for others to witness.
20) I love you because you are optimistic. You radiate positivity in our Room 134 family. I have witnessed tremendous growth in your confidence this year. I love that you eagerly participate in class, and your optimism inspires others. You encourage your peers and stand up for your friends. You are brave in your willingness to stand up for what is right. You possess so much strength in your character, in your convictions, and in your hope.
21) I love you because you make me laugh every day. Your wit and original ideas illuminate our classroom. I love you because you compose wonderfully hilarious stories about Grandma's theft of the illustrious golden cantaloupe! I love your imagination. Your friendship is sought after because your peers know the warmth of your joy and the depth of your care for them. I love you because you are creative, clever, and compassionate.
22) I love you because you are a phenomenal teacher. We tease you about your teaching voice, but in all sincerity, the qualities that make you a great teacher are the virtues that will ensure your success in all of your future endeavors. You are a helper at heart. You lead naturally. You are resourceful, judicious, and dedicated. You are motivated by your convictions, and the strength of your character is admirable and breathtaking.
23) I love you because there is delight in your spirit. After witnessing your performance in the talent show last year, I told Mr. Gardner that you possessed the radiance that I strive to live within each day. At times, that joy has been tested this year, but I have seen the way you have grown in confidence, independence, and strength. I love you because you "get back up again," and you give me hope to do the same. You make me feel so loved and so valued. You will never know how much it means to me to walk out my front door and hear you shout my name from the bus stop. You breathe life into others with your generous joy.
It is a privilege to be a part of your academic journey, and I love being your teacher.
Always.